"How can we tell whether our efforts at parenting are motivated by reliance on God's grace or on self-trust? How can we know whether we're trying to obligate God or serve him in gratitude?
One way to judge is to consider your reaction when your children fail. If you are angry, frustrated, or despairing because you work so hard and they aren't responding, then you're working (at least in part) for the wrong reasons. Conversely, if you're proud when your children obey and you get those desired kudos - Oh! your kids are so good! - you should suspect your motives.
Both pride and despair grow in the self-reliant heart."
~Elyse M. Fitzpatrick
Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus