"A difficult marriage, in and of itself, may not cause us to grow. We have to apply ourselves to understanding, love, and patience - we must commit ourselves to a pursuit of virtue - within that difficult marriage. We can't control how our spouse will act or how the world will act, but we can control how we will act and how we will respond... It is either this - or giving up control and allowing the toxic eruption of bitterness to pollute our souls.
It may sound antiquated to talk about the pursuit of "virtue" in today's world, but this is only because we don't fully understand what virtue truly represents. At its root, virtue means "strength." Virtue is strength - power to do what is right; power to make the right choice; power to overcome the weakness of sin, bad choices, victimhood, and self-pity."